Sell. Your. Shit.

Let’s face it: most FOR SALE posts are trash – they either aren’t true, have terrible pictures or don’t give you enough information to make an informed purchased.

Fuck That Noise

Introducing The Seller. A service platform aimed at creatively selling your stuff.


We sell your items differently – through interesting, yet truthful descriptions, ridiculous pictures and whatever other eye-catching (again, truthful) means to get money in your pocket and crap out of your possession.

Let's make that money

How it Works

Low risk, high rewardsss$$$$

Using The Seller is hella low risk - you only pay a percentage of your sale IF your item is sold. That means we'll write your description, get your pictures and post your shit for free, then take a cut. And shit, that cut is low (20% or $100 - whichever is lower).

How about them apples.

No contracts. No stipulations. Just confidence that we can sell your stuff. Period.

There are a few must-haves for working with us:

  1. Our philosophy is that people will spend more because of our awesome posts for your products, so we take a cut of the sale. It's a break even financially for you, but a win in getting shit out the door.In short, we take a 20% cut of your sale with a minimum of 100 bucks. If you're selling your broke ass car for $1000 for example, we take $200 of the sale. But the good thing: YOUR CAR WAS WORTH LESS THAN $800 TO BEGIN WITH. Beyahhh (Howard Dean voice)
  2. We handle the posting and interaction with sellers. So that you don't fuck up the sale, we deal with the people part of things. We post to whatever outlets we feel will be most impactful and that's the bottom line. And we never take possession of your items. All you have to do is handle the handoff.
  3. If you want to sell with us, you're in-it-to-win-it and can't get cold feet. This shouldn't be a problem since you're not obligated to anything. It goes without saying but we're saying it.

Interested in learning more? Complete the form here to get this shit rolling. Bayba baybaaaaaa (Biggie voice).

Want to be a writer? Complete this form.

Who? and Why?

Who is The Seller and why should I pay them money?

The seller is comprised of a collective of professional writers and creatives looking to make America ridiculous again. The team has worked professionally with such clients as Ford, WorldPay and many others. And they're looking to bring their talents to South Beach help you make some cheddar.

I still don't get it

Why would professionals spend their time with The Seller? Because it's a fun project, damnit. How many people can say they get paid to be ridiculous. And help others. Everyone deserves a chance to sell their shit in an easy way. What's more American than that?

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